If injury or illness leaves you unable to communicate your treatment wishes to doctors, you’ll want someone to do this for you. Therefore, you should name someone as your health care proxy.
They will need certain qualities to do the job well, including the following.
They understand your wishes
Having someone who understands what you would choose if offered different medical options is crucial. While you likely know that some people understand you more than others, it’s best if you can run through a few scenarios with your chosen person, telling them what option you would pick. You can also write your preferences for or against a particular treatment in an advance health care directive, reducing the potential decisions they’d need to make.
They can withstand pressure
Certain family members may have strong opinions and be prone to expressing them forcefully. A health care proxy who buckles in the face of pressure from others might not end up representing you as you hope. You want someone who can stick to what you ask them, or what they believe you would want, no matter how much pressure they come under to take a different option. Ideally, someone who can handle the situation with grace, rather than getting involved in an argument.
They willing to ask for advice
Not everyone is comfortable asking questions. Some feel doing so will be seen as a sign of weakness. Others are arrogant and think they know more than they do. Your proxy won’t know all the answers and you must be able to trust them to ask doctors for advice if they are unsure about something.
Once you think you have found the right person for the job, talk to them to see if they are comfortable with taking on the responsibility. Some might surprise you by refusing. It might be they don’t want the burden, it might be they are scared to make the wrong choice or it might be they are planning to move away, so fulfilling the role would be difficult. Once you have someone’s acceptance, you should learn how to put it down in your estate plan.